The Sideshow of Dubious Numbers

Facts, Figures and Allegations

Every number has been checked by the RFR Office of Statistics, which is operated by the same people creating the numbers.

By the numbers

Counting carefully...

Royal Flush Rumpé table
The scene of several statistical incidents

The record book

Consulting the archives...

The grandstand has spoken

What do the fans think?

One hundred thousand entirely real fans. Six performers. One extremely close popularity contest.

100,000 votes waiting The ballot boxes are sealed with suspiciously decorative tape.

Wheeling in the applause meters...

Statistics Nobody Requested

Hard-coded, lightly researched and subject to replacement by anything funnier.

0.75Cats per eventIncreasing rapidly
2Inflatable horsesBoth road legal in spirit
2Banana gunsEvidence secured
1Historic toilet breaksTiming: catastrophic
1Shoulder catsTactical role unconfirmed
100%Friendships survivingPending next river card
4Unique champions availableTwo have claimed titles
∞Host propagandaImpossible to contain

Four events in thirty seconds

The Championship Race

At the starting lineAndrew is checking whether this event existed yet.

Leading the performers to their lanes...

Every Finish, Including Absences

The five-player era, the arrival of Andrew and the full record exactly as it happened.

Laying out the historical evidence...

Then and now

The Two Great Eras

No adjustment for attendance. No apology.

Group Scoreboards

Forming suspicious alliances...

Official event notice

RFR V has been cancelled

Sadly, all six contestants have now passed away. The RFR team is working hard to reschedule Carnival of Cards with the refreshed line-up below.

The emergency replacements

Applications opened six minutes ago. These were the first six.

Marnie Vale, an emergency replacement contestant
Marnie “The Receipt” ValeThe Unlicensed Auditor
Ellis Pike, an emergency replacement contestant
Ellis “Two Coats” PikeThe Human Coat Check
Priya Fenwick, an emergency replacement contestant
Priya “The Pause” FenwickThe Eleven-Second Wonder
Otis Bell, an emergency replacement contestant
Otis “Second Opinion” BellThe Silent Partnership
Jo Mercer, an emergency replacement contestant
Jo “Houseplant” MercerThe Botanical Consultant
Daphne North, an emergency replacement contestant
Daphne “Last Bus” NorthThe Premature Departure